Want to Create Effective New Year’s Resolutions? How To Have No “Regerts”

So, here you are again. A New Year with new possibilities ensure that we have no “regerts” when it comes to the end of 2023. How many times have you made a New Year’s resolution – to lose weight; eat better, change jobs; find the one – only to fall back into the same old patterns? Here’s a different approach that can change your life.

Leverage Momentum

To begin, you want to leverage the momentum of the New Year. In his book “When, the Scientific Secretes of Perfect Timing,” Daniel Pink demonstrates that when we do something matters. It’s easiest to begin a new habit when there is natural momentum – the beginning of the year, starting a new job, moving to a new city, etc. So, your best opportunity is now. Everyone is starting the New Year expecting change, so you start the year with the wind at your back. Then, try these three steps to set yourself up for successful change.

List your Regrets

First, list your regrets. Yes, your regrets. Our regrets hold the seeds of what we hold most dear. If something is not important to us, then we don’t regret it. So, what are your current regrets? Do you wish that you spent more time with family and friends, for example, or do you wish that you were doing work that you loved instead of tolerating your job? Another way to think about this is ask yourself this question: What has been on my “wish” list for more than five years? Two things have been on my wish list for more than five years – learning to speak Italian and learning to play the piano.

Focus on your Fears

Second, with your regrets in mind, write down some goals for 2023, and then focus on your fears. This sounds counterintuitive, I know, however, your goals don’t get in your way; your fears do. This can work in your favor whether you want to start something new, or to simply create a better situation for yourself. Say, for instance, that you want to change careers, but you are afraid to take the financial risk. If you make a plan to address your financial needs – start saving a little more money, get more intentional about your purchases, make a budget, etc. – then you can manage your fear better. You might also explore other job opportunities, or start a side hustle to try something new.

Reach Out

Third, reach out. Regardless of your goal, involving others will significantly increase your chances of success. Part of this is due to social pressure, and part of this is due to social support. Either way, if you want to succeed, you need others. Support as important for losing weight or recovery, which is why groups like Weight Watchers and Alcoholics Anonymous are so popular. But support can also help us grow.

Now, some of us are reluctant to reach out, because we either don’t want to impose on others, or we don’t want to be seen as weak. With regard to the first point, friends and family are typically more than willing to help. Think about how good you feel when you help someone else. Our desire to help others is part of our hard-wiring. We want to help others. And, it gives you someone to celebrate your wins with! If you’re feeling guilty about asking for help, then offer something in return. We are also hard-wired for “reciprocity”. When someone gives us something, we typically feel compelled to return the favor

If asking for help makes you feel weak or needy, here are two things to consider: During post-Covid, people have been feeling disconnected from others in a powerful way. We miss the connection with others; most of us crave it. By reaching out for help, you are giving others the opportunity to connect. What is more, asking for help is an act of vulnerability which is essential for building trust, the glue of great relationships.

List your regrets, focus on your fears, and reach out. It’s as simple as it is counterintuitive. Try it for 2023. You have nothing to lose, but your regerts.